I’ve been tagged by Brian to come up with a list of 5 things you don’t know about me….
Err, so here goes:
1. My father trained for the priesthood and spent a year in a monastery in Ireland. Apparently this year of solitude spent in the windy wilds of Galway was enough to convince him that perhaps a life of simple servitude to God was not for him. While he was back home contemplating all of this, he met my mum and, luckily enough for me and my sister, her female charms were more than enough to convince him once and for all that his future lay outside the Church. Phew!
2. I spent my formative years as child in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) having adventures with snakes, crocodiles, fire ants, oh and a whole host of other dangerous fauna which fascinate small children. My closest encounter with one of these creatures came during a game of hide and seek. I hid under a bed and when I was ready, let out a huge holler to let my sister know she could begin her search.
Unfortunately, at this precise moment, a hairy caterpillar fell from the underside of the springs, straight into my gaping mouth.
I screamed in horror as I felt something squirm down my throat.
Somehow, somewhere between his fall and my vocalisations, I managed to bite the creepy crawly fiend in two and my dad, seeing the remaining half on the floor, tried to convince me that I hadn’t swallowed the thing by stamping on it and proclaiming:
“See? There he is. You didn’t swallow him at all!”
But I could feel the other half in my throat and was unimpressed with his valiant attempts to placate me. In the end, it was a generous helping of chocolate ice cream which released me from my trauma 🙂
3. Despite my father’s flight from the Church, my early school years were spent with nuns.
German nuns to be exact.
This meant that between the ages of four to eight I would greet my bemused parents each morning with a cheery “Guten morgen!” when I went down for my breakfast.
I still have a soft spot for the German language to this day, which may explain why I can speak pretty good Dutch.
4. A few years ago I wrote a radio play for the BBC World Service which won the regional prize for the best play in Europe.
I was most chuffed.
Alas, I have never been able to replicate this accomplishment, which I now put down to beginners luck….damn!
5. My mum has a brother who left Scotland some time in the 1960s and headed for Australia. We have no idea what happened to him, or where he is, or if he is even alive.
I have never met him so to me he will always be an enigmatic figure in a photograph. A young, handsome, smiling man whose life is a complete mystery.
So there you go, 5 pieces of me for you all to chew on 🙂