Another short short entry in the monthly competition I participate in online.
This one actually garnered the most votes which was cool.
Funnily enough though, when I read it now I find it a bit contrived and sentimental.
Anyway, the theme in June was “If Only” and this was my take on it…
I could have told her I suppose. Could have explained the silences, the distance, the doubt. Could have told her all the things that were on my mind. All the little insecurities and histories and lies that had brought me to this point. All the things that had lead me to draw away, not just from her, but from everyone.
If I’d have told her all this she would have understood Would have nodded and sighed, and stretched out her hand to me.
But the thought of that, the thought of her sympathy, her pity, her understanding, made me recoil.
Perhaps I was wrong, but who knows?
Because that’s what we do, no? Hide ourselves from others? Conceal our thoughts, downplay our feelings? Erase our pasts, presents and futures?
Until, in the end, all we are left with is a life of regrets and missed opportunities, and eternal if onlys …